Perceptions on Happiness

I am interested in positive psychology, so I occasionally listen talks on happiness, read books on positive psychology. According to experts, we are social animals and if your goal in life is to be happy, you should make a circle of happy friends to yourself. My personal opinion and experiences doesn't really support this claim. I am not claiming that all work is rubbish and the experts are wrong , actually it is exactly the opposite. I observe the people around me and oddly most people enjoy a fruitless conversation, they think a regular conversation is way for them to relieve the stress they exposed during the work, or they go with humor. I understand that this is a defense mechanism but yeah it doesn't work for me. I know that a lot of people can watch comedians for hours but not me. Frankly, i find it quite boring. I think sitting in front of your TV and listening this guy making fun of things is quite boring to watch for like an hour or so with their "happy" friends. Not the best example but in one of her interviews in NY Times Viviene Westwood was telling she finds the movie theatres boring. Unless it is not a very good movie that you go there to see for, i am with her.

Now, I do agree with the experts on the humans are being very social. But the fact is we are also intellectual, i personally would like to engage in a conversation where i can express my feelings, share my experiences and i would expect from the other party to do the same, so in that way i get my brain to form new neural ways in which i can use them in a future experience. I would like my circle of friends to be critical on me in a way that will improve my ideas and help me gain insight. No i dont need a circle of happy friends, I need a circle of intellectual friends. Engaging in fruitful conversation makes me happy not hedonistic present oriented acts.

(The picture in this post is from http://www.drawingsofleonardo.org/)

Sick of big city

I am sick of living in this big ugly city. It is true that you can't get bored there is plenty of things to do bla bla .... but that is not the only side of a big city like London. Every day on the way back from bus stop to home you have to be careful not to step on a dog waste and if you succeed in that you have to convince yourself that doesn't put your appetite off for dinner. And as a plus you have to deal with the disgusting human  spits all over the place plus the drunk vomit remaining from weekends.   Then the issue of noise evry bit of the city is noisy.  Either the motor vehicles,  or the ambulance/police or the people.  My God people are in general unbearably rude. The neighbors unbearable most of the time. And once the people in upstairs throw a party lasted untill 4 in the morning . There are families with kids living around the block they have no respect for other people. The everyday hassle of living in the big city made me such unhappy person I can't bear myself anymore. The housing sucks everywhere and not to mention it sucks double in london. I remember complaining when I was living in a small city now I think it was a bliss. I prefer quiet and peaceful life. If you are planning to move to a big city my advice is to consider the everyday hassle first. 

Visiting Your Own Country: experiences of a little mind

I must admit, living abroad made me more patriotic. My personality, my perception of the world have changed enormously, since i have started to live abroad four years ago. For example i started to appreciate the traditional foods of my country,I started wear the traditional clothing of my own country, I started to use my country's brands, I would say i turned into a conscious, patriot consumer! My perception of my country changed as well started to appreciate the people of my country, even appreciated more my parents and relatives. Don't get me wrong it is not racism, it is the values that have been neglecting in the past due to my own and (thank you very much!) past ignorance. So this is how things really look like when i am abroad.

Meanwhile, things are different when you get back, even for a visit! Visiting the places i have lived before felt like as if i was visiting my old self, my ex-life really. Oddly it wasn't people in my past, who reminded me the memories; it was the city itself the buildings, streets, smells, nature, beautiful sky... It almost felt like bits and pieces of my old habits emerged. And the comparing, oh dear!... Comparing the streets with the places you have seen, comparing habits, comparing people, comparing this and that... And finally you come to appreciate the things you have experience in the country you have left. City Cycle is what i called the above phenomenon, you love, and appreciate the things you have left behind...

Also, life has changed in the old city. Friends have moved on, some of them got married, most got real jobs, bought houses so on... I came to realize how different my path have been. One very sad thing people are being more and more money oriented as they grow old. and i would say being a PhD student is great if you don't want to be that kind of person. As it requires loads of dedication most of the time and gives back very little until graduation.

The environment you choose to live in does effect your personality... pick what you wanna be then pick the place that suits your goals. i understand choices might be limited but do your best!